Pick-Up Artist Techniques

http://www.vindicarlo.com The Attraction code video. Vin DiCarlo talks about how he developed his book, The Attraction Code. For more information about the contents of the book and to sign up for a free 45 minute masterclass introduction to the attraction code visit www.AttractionCodeBook.com.

Have you avoided approaching a girl just because she is talking to another guy?

Or maybe you avoided approaching a group of girls with one or two guys with them because you feared embarrassment just because you ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.

There are two reasons why guys have a fear in talking with women who were with other guys.

They assume that the girl is “with” the guy, and assume he’s her boyfriend.

Guys shouldn’t think this as a barrier of talking to a woman. Plus - she’s not a guy’s “slave” or a piece of property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses, especially in a social situation like in the bar where people meet other people.

Approaching oftenly a woman who is “with” a guy can make you look more confident, and draw out the jealous side of the guy, making him look insecure and weak.

The other reason points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception that’s why they avoid talking to woman who is “with” a guy.

Men tend to be threatened by other men, they assumed that the “other guy” is more cooler, stronger, or somehow powerful than they are.

This is founded in an ancient survival strategy that has been hardwired into the human brain.

It’s often hard to tell who the more “dominant” human is in any given interaction. The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn’t know how dominant the other guy is.

As was probably common thousands of years ago, a guy doesn’t know if he will be embarrassed verbally.

So it’s smart to play it safe by assuming that the other guy is a threat. Males who were too bold may have won a few confrontations, but all it took was one loss to end up dead or exiled from the tribe.

And then their genes were eliminated from “race” so to speak.

Those guys that avoided confrontation and played safe are the one that can successfully reproduce and survive.

The irony is that nowadays this hard-wired survival strategy is the basis for most approach anxiety - men makes a false assumptions that will lead them to avoid approaching women unnecessarily.

The thing is, when you are in the bar or club and you see a woman talking to another guy, you would think she’s not WITH him.

Usually, they JUST MET!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve approached a woman thinking she was “with” a guy, only to find out he was some random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.

I have regrets when I remember that I used to completely not talking to a woman because I saw her being with another guy. So many opportunities that I’ve wasted. This brings me to my first point:

I SHOULDN’T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL I SEE A PHYSICAL EVIDENCE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO THE GIRL.

Approach a woman so that you will know what they really are. Just remember to be alert and respectful, because in the off chance they are together, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and start a physical confrontation.

So use your brain - just don’t be stagnant in making a false assumptions.

Another thing that I want to talk about is the idea that the other guy can be more “dominant” than you are.

The concept of the alpha male is completely outdated. In the caveman days, the alpha male had real power - he had access to resources like food, and was physically stronger, so he could beat up competitors.

But ask yourself if those power still exist today. Every man can survive on his own if he has the source of income - you probably have an access to food and shelter if you’re reading this. You’re all set.

Plus, its illegal to use the physical strength just to beat people up. It is pretty much irrelevant to use in the modern world.

You’ll always end up losing if you attack another person because the police always win.

If you mind doing that, you are LETTING RANDOM MEN TO STOP YOU FOR NO REASON!

Just excuse my French, but who is HE to say who YOU talk to???

It was annoying - remembering all the girls I missed out on because I was scare about some DUDE. And I get mad knowing that the other guys are dealing with some crap!

When time comes that you’re on your deathbed, you are going to reminisce on all the things you did and didn’t do. How painful would it be to say “I didn’t meet that woman because I was worried of the other guy she’s with,” or “there were a lot of beautiful that I could have enjoyed, but I didn’t even try to approached them because I saw them TALKING to another guy.

I don’t want to happen that to you.

So let’s look at this on a deeper level. Seeing another guy as more dominant means you don’t truly understand dominance.

You see, if you’re concerned with who is more dominant you instantly make yourself NOT dominant. There’s a better focus.

Dominant men don’t think about who is dominant. To be dominant, you must first THINK like a dominant man. So what do dominant men think about? Whatever it is they are doing or want.

You see a group of girls talking to another guy. Instead of being concerned with who is more dominant between the two of you, just stay focus on the girls.

I rarely even acknowledge other guys, because too often it’s proven to be a waste of time. 9 times out of 10 the girls don’t even know the guy - they just met him.

Or if they do know the guy, it’s because he was a friend of ONE of the girls, and the rest barely know him.

It’s rare for girls to go out with a guy they are dating - usually they will bring a guy who is more of a protector/friend because a guy like that is more valuable when they go out on the town.

And aside from that, if he IS with one of the girls, then it will be a fair game because it means that he’s NOT with the other girls.

When you are concerned with who’s the alpha male, you are by definition NOT the alpha male. In fact, it’s questionable whether alpha males truly exist in the modern world.

Don’t assume anything, get your focus in a USEFUL place, and don’t let some random dude prevent you from enjoying YOUR LIFE!

Is meeting women feels like a WORK to you?

And how does it feel that despite of all the effort you’re
doing you’re still not getting an inch closer to your goal?

If you answered YES to either of those questions, then READ
ON.

In fact, dating game can be quite frustrating.

Seeing a woman that you like but has already a boyfriend.

Everything is going smooth and fine between you and a woman
and then just suddenly she’s not returning or answering your
calls.

Not to mention the fact that as the man you pretty much have
to do everything to move things forward.

In your approach, you have to have the courage.

YOU have to keep the conversation going at first, YOU have
to escalate physically, YOU have to get HER number or rack
your brain to figure out a logistical way to take her home,
YOU have to plan the date.

Men are much higher than women when it comes to the
standards of behavior.

(Let’s not started on that…let’s just say women are
allowed to get away with sub-par behavior just because they
are “beautiful.”)

That can be debilitating, especially if you don’t have an
“extroverted” trait.

…I just had a client who often complained of “extroversion
fatigue.”

I knew exactly what he meant because I used to struggle with
it too.

Before I began to teach myself pickup, I would go out, and
be mentally DRAINED after talking to three or four women.

I would have to sit down and rest!

Come to think how strange the situation is, I am supposed to
have fun and relax but instead I am working harder than I
was at my full time job.

I would go home absolutely dead

… from SPEAKING TO WOMEN!

Does it make sense to you???

And there was the overall, general dating fatigue. The
emotional ups and downs, the discouraging results, the
effort I had to make just to get women to hang out with me
or to sleep with me.

It is just like I am having an overtime in my full-time job!

When I first got in this game, I literally had to force
myself to go out and pickup ALL DAY for days on end. (I
admit, I was a nerd, and pushed it to the extreme.)

But what can I say, I was passionate about learning all this
stuff (and not to mention extremely eager for results after
years of sexual frustration).

I would push myself like professional athletes push
themselves in the gym.

I was working muscles I had never used before, or to be more
precise, I was forming NEW NEUROPATHWAYS.

If you can relate to any of this, then you are probably
working too hard in your interactions with women.

There are three reasons for this.

First, being socially proactive may be new to you.

I recall when I first started lifting weights, I didn’t have
upper pectoral muscles - the muscle at the top of your chest
just under your clavicle that make your chest look big.

Actually I do have a small muscle but it was so weak that I
can’t even feel them. So every time worked them out I was
incredibly sore and could barely move my arms. And it took
me three good weeks to really feel them.

And then I reached a tipping point of sorts, where the
muscle was developed enough that I could handle big amounts
of weight without all the soreness and fatigue. Your mind is
the same way.

You need to push yourself harder everyday in accordance to
the level of your skills. Because developing a new
neuro-pathways will take time.

Another reason you may feel social fatigue is because you
think there’s too much to do or learn when meeting women.

It’s not really so much about “fatigue” but it’s more on
having an overwhelmed feeling.

Being overwhelmed by certain thing can cause exhaustion to
your mind that can lead to some sort of discouragement and
depression. It’s somewhat saying “ugh, I’ve had enough of
this too much. I’m giving up”

This will hinder you from doing any progress. I was in this
situation when I was putting a lot of theories on my notes.
And as I looked at them I’ve seen that I am just like
looking for a huge and complex physics equation.

Doing ALL of this stuff just to had a quality women in my
life was so discouraging to think.

The last reason for feeling exhausted in the dating and
mating game is that you are spending too much mental energy
in the wrong places, wasting your focus on stuff that isn’t
useful to pickup.

Many men fails in attracting women and in fact almost 99% of
men gets it wrong. Usually the women can’t tell because most
men after a harsh rejections learn to keep their inner
“stuff” to their self.

But of course we can’t oppose to the reality that when a guy
is attracted to a girl, he is trying his best just to win
her or at least know if the women likes him too.

It’s the man’s role to IMPRESS the woman and EARN a
fulfillment for your urge from her - as what we get from the
media, our parents and friends.

So Pathetic!

I see some advertisement of a guy bungling around to a cute
girl trying to impress her, and looking like a fool while
the girl giggles like she’s better because she is woman. - I
hate that kind of thing.

Ok enough ranting… the point is that most guys are
screwed when it comes to being in control of their dating
lives.

But if a guy takes the time to adjust the way his MIND works
when it comes to attraction, it changes everything.

Once you get to highest level of your interaction with
women, you will truly be attractive to them. You just need
to be at your best both physically and emotionally.

A GUY AT HIS BEST.

One Night Stands is the topic that I want to share with you today.

It wasn’t until I had a couple solid pickups that I started to really understand how easy all this really could be.

“Bad belief overhaul” is what I can say when I look back on those things that I did.

I began to believe that women wanted me and wants to get in bed.

I also started to think of myself as an attractive, desirable guy (even though I’m far from what’s typically considered good-looking).

Wanting to sleep with more women is the main goal of the 75% of my students.

While the others have the aim to find their someone special but I don’t think these aim are mutually exclusive.

You see, in order to find that special girl and to have the best choice, you should see and go out with a bunch of good women.

It would be impossible to meet your someone special if you don’t socialize and meet with a bunch of good women.

There’s a very common phase that every good pickup artist goes through when he gets started. He begins learning new ways of thinking and behaving, and lo and behold, he starts meeting and sleeping with a LOT OF WOMEN.

Like a kid that uses all his new powers just to have all that he wants in the candy store.

There is a need of learning in order to dump out your old way and start with a new reality - that I am desirable that women can’t resist to sleep with me.

So it’s important that you have a few really fast, casual sensual encounters, in order to get the ball rolling on forming new beliefs.

I’m telling about a same day lays or a one-night stand.

Now if you’ve never had a one night stand, or maybe got lucky a couple of times when you were drunk, having a one-night ’stands at-will’ can seem just as out-of-reach as having a great girlfriend.

But you know what you are doing and is able to learn new things, you will find it very easy to do.

But a lot of men are making a way that is too hard for themselves, where they never be able to gain the initial sensual experience that will lead them to feel like “natural.”

If you’re going though with this newsletter, then you really want to MASTER THE GAME aside from getting BETTER with woman.

Mastery of the game comes from within and it start right through your mindset and leads to a visible results that form New Beliefs in your mind.

These new beliefs become the foundation for your new reality, where you naturally attract women without even thinking about it.

cannot always bring home the hottest girl in the place.

You can get a solid number from her, but whether or not a woman is open to going home with a guy on a particular night varies widely.

However, there are LOTS of horny women moving around the clubs and bar anytime of the day that are open in getting lay that same day or night. And all you have to do is have a knowledge and ability to spot them.

The things that I look in spotting them are in the way how they dressed, how much make-up they put on their face and other things that relates to how they look physically. Remember that there is a reason why women exert a lot of effort in order to look beautiful.

They want to be approached. This of course, isn’t always true, but is generally the case.

Another thing that you can spot that a woman is looking for attention is when she is being so loud and animated.

And the last thing that I look for, are women that are all standing and scoping around the room with blank expressions. Also those women that is looking around the room more often than the other girls in their group.

These women are obviously making themselves out there, waiting to be notice by men.

Now when you approach, take it easy - don’t go in full-steam running your clever routines and your cocky frame control stuff.

Just be light, social, and let them know you are interested in meeting them. A simple “hey, you guys look great tonight. Special occasion?” is enough.

You should not openly discuss to the woman that you are looking to take her home and get her into bed. Because, if you talk about that, you’re putting a woman to a point where is to agree to implicitly bang with you.

Instead you want to build sensual tension, as we discuss heavily in our workshops.

This will be against a woman’s “rules” and she’ll definitely be keeping distance from you. And you really need a logistic information to know how you can get her back to your place.

So before that thing happen, you have to remove some of your overt sensual intention and try not to let her know that you are trying to pick her up.

You must have the willingness to control the situation and knows how to enjoy while having the escalation in the right way.

This is how it will works although it may sound that counter intuitive.

You have to trust that women wants to get in bed, and that a lot of the women in the venue wants to lay NOW.

Some won’t, but some will, and that’s why it’s key that you get a sense of what to look for, and how to proceed.

I know you don’t what to invest a lot of your time to pick the right girl and then just mess it up after a long interaction. Or to spend your time to a wrong girl or worse.

It will just be a waste of time.

The first thing that some guys do when they meet a girl is to show off that they understand every game.

They’ll start to talk about evolution, alpha males, how they know that women are more intimate than men and how women will always cheat on their boyfriends.

Now that is so nonsense as “The Talk of Death”

Let me tell you why, and also I will give you an idea of what to do instead.

As what I have learned in pick-up, these kind of conversation is very poor with women especially with the hot ones.

This will not work for the girl that any man in his right mind would be attracted to.

There are a few major things wrong with this strategy:

(BTW - if you happen to meet a girl that loves this kind of stuff, by all means talk about it, I’m just saying it should not be used for most of female population as an ATTRACTION strategy)

1. It puts a girl on the defensive. It’s like one country revealing it’s battle plans to another country that it is at war with.

It shows that you are “thinking too much” about the dynamic, which not only is a big turn off, but also makes her think you’re going to be a mind-trip.

2. There are chances that the woman’s awareness level is about 10% of yours.

Especially if you’re keeping up on my newsletters about the concept called “Stepped Awareness”.

Have you tried playing a song you LOVED for a friend and they just didn’t get it?

It’s because their awareness didn’t go through the same process that yours had - and ended in you really liking the song…

Don’t you think it’s too alien and weird sharing about “the unique mating patters of the bonobo apes and how it relates to girls in the club”, to a girl that spends the majority of her time thinking on having a new shoes, celebrities and her problems with her boss.

It’s the same reason why you’ll sometimes see the biggest AFC ever with a smoking hot girl. He’s normal, and she can easily introduce him to her friends without embarrassment!

3. For a woman that DOES understand it; what you’re talking may seems like a big deal, when it should be plainly obvious.

There are about 5-10% of women that actually can get this stuff. It’s obvious, intuitive and accepted for them.

These women tend to also like women, capable of having an open relationships, and generally a lot of fun.

But here’s the thing - the guys they end up dating ALSO get this stuff intuitively.

And when you get something intuitively, you’ll never go out of your way to convince another person of it, or explain it like it’s some huge revelation!

So the minute you do, the women who are most eligible for the lifestyle you’re looking for, will instantly disqualify you.

So here’s what to do instead.

These are one of the most powerful techniques I use:

- Understand society’s programming,
- Understand her specific programming, and;
- Appear to be under the exact same programming.

Keep your knowledge of REALITY to yourself (and of course, if you figure out anything amazing, I would appreciate it if you share it on my forum as well)

You’re going to see a big difference in your game.

And I want to be part of it.